Sonal Lobo, born and bought up in Bengaluru, is a post graduate in commerce from Christ University, Bengaluru. She has been writing from the age of 10. Her writings have been published in in a number of publications of repute. She has published two books 'Thoughts Sublime' and 'Whistling Words' both collection of poems and also contributed in various anthologies. Currently she is working as an HR counsellor in Bengaluru.
Sorry Can’t Make a Dead Man alive
All of us at one point of time might have said and do continue to tell, childhood is the best part of life. As we grow physically and as we progress in age so does our egos, pride and self-centeredness.
Most of us tend to forget the innocence, the fun, laughter and most importantly the concept of letting go.
Teenage they say is the most difficult phase in one’s life, there seems to be confusion, a search for identity and moreover an urge for freedom. Most of the parents I met in college, while I was working as a lecturer, always complained to me that their teenage children are unreasonable and they begin comparing to their days. Well, I beg to differ has I strongly feel though today’s teenagers are rather difficult yet they are more broadminded and their attitude on certain issues of life is something which we have to follow.
One day as usual after finishing my days’ work at the college, I boarded the bus to return back home, usually the journey takes me about half an hour. I spend this time peeping out of the window if I manage to get a seat or else most of the time I just wait when someone would get up and I could grab the seat.
On that particular day I wasn’t in my best of moods since I had a tiff with one of the persons close to me, we both were not in talking terms. Initially there were a little arguments and tears but as time flew it was getting back to normal, only difference was we weren’t talking. Being close for quite some time and sharing some wonderful memories together, this silence had killed both of us. I was hurt, I wanted to sort out the issue but not sure how?
I did not want to initiate has it would hurt my ego, I waited that she would confront me neither did she has she was even more egoistic than me. This situation had put me to dilemma, with the same confusion I began to see out of the window blankly.
Just then I happened to overhear the conversation of two young college girls who were seated just behind me. Usually, the bus is filled with college students and it is more of screams, discussions about any teacher, movies or dress etc. In a way I was bored of all these talks and when the sound would increase, I would just prefer to plug-in my earphones and look away. But there was something unusual about this conversation that tempted me to listen. Hearing their conversation, it was obvious that they both had fought and were talking out to resolve the issue. One girl among the two of them seemed to be very fussy and unwilling to give in, she was continuously abusing and simply asking how you could do this, you betrayed me, you were my best friend I did not expect this etc. To this the other girl chooses not to reply, she was very quiet and seemed to give no justification or explanation. She only quietly said I am sorry; please forgive me lets be the same again, immediately the other one angrily said, sorry cannot bring the dead man alive. Listening to this sentence I vaguely recalled the memories of my childhood were most of us has kids had used this phrase to show our frustration and anger. Now I was eager to know what the other girl would reply, I was in a hurry since I had to get down in the coming stop. Like watching a movie and reaching the point of climax I was all ears. Finally, the other girl quietly said I know my sorry cannot bring the dead man alive but it can definitely bring to life your love and friendship for me. I was awestruck at her matured reply. My stop arrived and once before getting down I turned and looked at that girl who barely was aged about 16 or 17, she looked plain and simple but the calmness and the patience she exhibited left me speechless.
I don’t know what had happened later one, I don’t know even to this day are they still friends or they have parted ways but this conversation of the girls definitely taught me so many things.
Having fought and almost in the verge of losing a precious friendship I decided it was time to initiate and ask sorry. I dint know what would be the outcome, whether we would reconcile, whether we would be same again the outcome was uncertain but I knew deep down that I would be happy if I would take efforts to mend what was broken.
Night after the dinner, mustering lots of courage I finally took my phone and typed the most difficult message, “I am so sorry, please forgive me if I have hurt you”. I typed this line and sent the message. I waited eagerly and to my surprise immediately I got a reply back its ok, even I am sorry, Let us be the same again.
Seeing this message, I jumped in joy, just a simple sorry had bought us back together. I was so thankful to those girls; their conversation had taught me the importance of saying sorry genuinely.
How many of us in our lives have lost precious relationships just because of our egos? How many of us are not willing to forgive and forget, trust me, saying sorry may or may not heal your relationship but at the end it will heal you. The guilt the shame the helplessness will all vanish away because you know at the end you have tried your best and that is all that matters.
If you wish to reconcile with someone today, just drop in sorry you never know the other person also may be in dilemma like you waiting to reconcile. Let us forget what had happen and let us look forward to what should begin afresh.